Sunday, dreary Sunday

I woke up at the crack of ass this morning. Actually took a 9:30 class at the gym! It kicked my butt, too. Then I came home, drank my coffee, read two papers, talked to my mom, went food shopping, and now, at 2:20 PM, I have NOTHING to do. Oh, and I just spent an hour job-searching online. Not much there. I don't think my dream job is being posted on Monster or Craig's List, but just in case, I can't neglect them.

I brought home some work to do, but just don't want to do it. It's too pathetic to do on a Sunday afternoon, especially as I don't view this week as being a busy one and so not really necessary. I'd like to go for a walk. It's in the 30's today, so relatively warm. Problem is, I hate walking the streets of New York. Hate looking at the dirty snow against the gray sky, passing jappy girls and happy couples, navigating dirty narrow sidewalks littered with Saturday night's trash, and sidestepping someone's dog's crap that they were too lazy/blind/stupid to pick up. THIS is why I am moving. When I would rather sit alone in my apartment at the computer than go outside and bear the city of New York.

I wasn't always like this. I remember when I used to go to the gym in the morning to lift or take a class, and run outside in the afternoons. I used to have names for the 6+ mile walks I'd initiate - urban hikes. I used to bundle up and run or walk along the river or in the park - just for fresh air or precisely to look at the people who might populate this new scenery. Or I'd at least decide to go shopping, and make an adventure out of the hike there. As much as I could use some new clothes, I hate the people who shop on Sundays - rich lazy people with nothing better to do. Plus, I am saving money, as well as trying to cut down on the number of items I actually bring to LA with me. And I certainly don't feel like walking to my favorite stores and looking at the people along the way. Apple needs to make an iPod for the eyes; it's done wonders for blocking the negative noise from my consciousness.

Isn't this terrible? I sound so negative and depressed. But I'm actually quite the opposite. In a pretty good mood today. I suppose I could go to the gym and walk on the treadmill for an hour - kind of an "indoor urban hike" - but is that even more pathetic? I also have good books to read, and I could start on my album projects for my friends. On that note, I do have friends, and I could call some of them, but, as my mom said to me on the phone this morning, I just can even be bothered to shower and wash my hair! LA - please save me from myself!

I don't know what to do about this interview yet. So Ted doesn't want me staying with him. Asswipe. Tracy lives in the valley. I asked Sara but she may have her east coast boyfriend coming in that weekend, and won't know til next week. I can't wait that long to book a flight. If it was something I was really into, I would book a hotel room. It would be worth the money. But this isn't. Plus, I haven't heard back from Jill yet, and don't have anything else lined up, so the cost of the hotel room (plus airfare and rent-a-car) would not be worth the one interview that I am not even that excited about. If I were desperate, I'd ask Ryan, or ask Ryan to ask Jeff. I'm not desperate. I'd rather save that for a Full Pic weekend or something along the same lines. I guess I just don't want to let go of this opportunity, in case it turns out being better than what I had expected. Whatever, I'm sure things will work out in the end - they always do.
More cold and snow on the horizon. Ugh.

One way to LA

I booked my ONE WAY ticket to LA today! Now there is no turning back! Next I just have to call Colleen and have her send me that lease! Wow - too many exclamation points, but I am excited. And why shouldn't I be? We got dumped with a foot of snow this weekend, and today
I spent sloshing through it on my way to and from work, where we had no heat, and I sat wearing my jacket all day. Now I bask in the sauna that is my apatment, watching my skin dry up and flake off by the hour. I'm hot.

Snowballing into even more progress

We are supposed to be getting at least a foot of snow today, hence the snowball reference. Got a drunk message from the RDC last night (love it) informing me that it was 85 degrees in LA yesterday (love it even more).

So Veronika talked to Jill at FP yesterday to tell her I was moving. Veronika talked me up like I have never heard anyone do, especially not a superior. I am beyond indebted to her. Even more so if it works out. Turns out Jill may be looking for someone like me, and asked me to come see her before I saw anyone else. LOVE IT. So I emailed her and sent my resume, but I know she won't get it until Monday at the earliest. With what little I know about it, I already feel that I could see myself there, at least as opposed to the other place. It's still a boutique firm, but with serious fashion and beauty clients, and an emphasis on entertainment marketing. In as much as I have always tried to steer away from that side of PR, what is the strength of an LA-based agency if they don't work in entertainment?

The other agency wants me to come in and interview Monday, Feb 7th, so I will see if Jill can meet me that day and then schedule my trip. I also need to find a place to stay the night before. I emailed Ted yesterday and asked him, because, as I mentioned, his place is literally FOUR MINUTES away from their office. Well, up front, I gave him the option of saying no, because that Sunday night is the night of the Superbowl, and - not to jinx it - there is a good chance the Patriots will be playing. Well, her writes back and says no, because he has been seeing this girl and thinks it would be disrespectful to have another female stay over. I was (am) so annoyed. I mean, it's not like I asked if I could hang out with him for the weekend, or like I was scheduling the trip for fun. I made it clear that my interview was four minutes from him and it was one night. And, what bothers me, it's not even his girlfriend. Its some girl he's been seeing for a few months or weeks and who he's leaving in six weeks! So, I get the feeling he just doesn't want me staying with him, which I think is a real shitty thing to do, but whatever. I didn't make a big deal out it. I will ask Sarah if I can stay with her, and if I have to, I will ask Tracy. Tracy would be my fiirst choice in any case if she didn't live all the way out in the valley. Ted's an idiot. But then again, he always has been.

More progress

So we had our conference call yesterday to talk "transition." She started out by telling me that it had nothing to do with me, that I was wonderful, and really had to do with the new beauty initiative. Which I know, of course, but still made me want to puke. When we wrapped up, she asked Mary to stay on the call to discuss something. About ten minutes later, Mary comes in my office and shuts the door. I guess Carolyn told her that she really liked me and asked that I be moved over to the other side of the business, handling the fashion accounts. So Mary told her that I was moving to LA and unfortunately that wasn't an option. She said that Carolyn was very disappointed, but she reiterated how much she liked working with me, and offered herself as a reference should I need it. Love it. In lieu of boys talking about me, at least I have love from the workforce.

On that note, I had a phone interview last night with a PR firm out in LA. The woman I spoke to seemed really nice, but they have a very small office - nearly identical to the structure here. But, unlike here, they have mostly small, low budget brands, and it doesn'tseem like it would be the most optimal career step for me at this point. In any case, I will most likely to go out there and meet with them - either to change my opinion or confirm it, but also in the hopes of generating some more interviews, even informational ones at this stage. Plus: the office is about a four minute drive from my apartment. I also think the money is good, but that's not enough. We'll see.

Two months from tomorrow

How scary is that? It really is approaching.

Things are falling into place. I have not heard back from any of the many jobs I have applied for, but I have established a few contacts and made some progress. I completed my first freelance assignment for Arbonne. It was relatively easy to write, although it took me longer than I would have thought. In any case, it's money in my pocket. I should have started looking for freelance work a long time ago - like back when I was at Behrman and made no money! I have been at this freelance thing only about two months and I already got two jobs that have promise for ongoing work. It's funny, because I have been marketing myself non-stop: to my LA contacts, to NYC contacts, to friends everywhere, and when you put in 100%, you see results! This has been a great exercise for me in general, and I have only just begun. It makes me see that you really can make things happen if you try hard enough. Things are happening.

None of the jobs I have applied for online have really been anything I was dying for anyway. None seemed like the right fit, and they probably see that too. Of course, some may just be taking their time going through the resumes, but I think my NYC address puts me at a disadvantage. And I'm not ready to lie about my address yet, b/c with two months still to go, I don't need any prospects thinking I am a liar.

Conference call with Carolyn tomorrow to discuss the Sonia transition. I've known for over a month and a half and it still makes me sick to think about. Oh well.

Mary and Veronika know - I would like to tell Effie the news tomorrow - all of it. Which means it will take about 3.5 seconds for her to IM it to the rest of the office, and my secret will be out in the open. Mary is fine with that. March 4th is a Friday, and the day I plan to work until. Hopefully I can get through the next 7 weeks without incident.

For the record, LA hit 83 degrees today. I walked to work in what the Today show told me was 13. Sweet.

A bit of good news

I just found out that a freelance job I applied to ages ago finally made the decision to hire me. I'll be writing press releases for this skin care company based in Irvine, CA (home of Jerrod and Jeremy and Too Faced). $150 per release, one release per every two weeks or so. So excited! A little extra pocket money for the move, for what I'm guessing will be rather simple, straightforward work. And one more professional contact on the west coast! Yay!

You know I am in a good mood when I am getting excited about car shopping. I am. :)

The Next Maria Menounos

Telling people about the move is fun. I've gotten all kind of compliments for my bravery and whatnot, and people say all sorts of nice things when they think they might never see you again.

Last night was Heather's b-day, and it was a lot of fun. It was a good turnout, so I think that made her feel better about turning 29, and I got to catch up with some people I haven't seen in a while. Our friend Mike was there, and when I told him I was moving, the first thing he said to me was, "You're going to be the next big talent discovery - the next Maria Menounos or something." I thought that was awesome. Not that I am in the talent, or broadcasting business, but that he would relate me to her. She is not a huge talent or anything, no big Oscar contender or serious actress, nor am I. She was just a pretty girl with a personality who landed in front of a camera and now makes ET relatable to all of Viacom's junior channels, and I include myself among her captive audience. I just thought that was a huge compliment, and loved the way it flew out of his mouth. He's gay - he has no reason to flatter or woo me. It made me feel loved - like back in the college days when I truly believed I was worship-worthy, and gave me hope that maybe I still am. : ) Thanks, Messina.

And, DONE

More later.

Today might be the day

I'm feeling it. Stay tuned...

Given that this was my horoscope for today, I don't know why I didn't tell her:
"A very intense situation that comes up at work could lead you to wonder if you ought to say what you know or just keep quiet -- and isn't that always a dilemma? In this case, since you may be feeling that you've kept this particular secret for far too long, think about what might happen once the truth is revealed. The good news is that in the end, the truth always comes out anyway. Your mission is to decide whether you want to be the instrument now. "
Weird.
Anyway, it looks like there's still no decision about the transition and so we are to continue working on them into Feb and until further notice. Better for me. That's kind of why I backed off. A lot of news for one day, but at least now I can be more assured to have stuff to do for the next couple months.

The (not so) Final Countdown

Back to work today. I need to give my notice sometime this week, or at least early next. I also talked to Ted. He is going to leave some of his stuff for me (at a small cost), so that will solve the issue of my bed, a tv, and tv stand for the living room. I also talked to Ryan, and he is supposed to get back to me with some advice and learnings from taking pr to the west coast. OMG - it is all becoming real. It's happening!

On another note, we are also planning Maria's going away party for next weekend. Small - nothing like I want mine to be. We are all really separating. Why, exactly?

I clicked on the Automotive section of the NY Times online today, because I figured I need to start making that a part of my conscious thinking. I started crying before I coiuld even read the article. Hmm - stress much?

This is only the beginning. I knew that once Jan 1 hit, it would all become a reality. Why do I want to move again? It escapes me from time to time. Then I remember that I hate New York, that I am bored out of my mind and no doubt boring to others, and for some reason, LA has been calling me - and not quietly, I might add - for some time. But now I am on the real countdown. And it has gone from me being excited to me being stressed. Stressed about:

1. Getting a job out there
2. Leaving my job here
3. Time in between
4. Buying a car
5. Leaving my friends
6. Leaving my safe-haven of New York and my daily comforts

I am doing something completely unprecedented and for no good reason, just for kicks, really. Let's look at the reasoning:

1. I hate my job in NYC
2. I don't want another job in NYC
3. Quality of life (apartment size, weather, pace - these could be three separate answers)
4. Need (or want) a new crop of boys from which to date
5. If not now, never

Uck - I don't even want to think about it anymore.