Luck of the I wish

Donna Martin Graduates! Donna Martin Graduates!

What? We're not commemorating those four years? Oh, yeah. Tomorrow (Wednesday, March 18th) marks four years since I moved to LA.

Four more years! Four more years!

Now that's more like it.

In going through my archives, I realize I've already said pretty much everything there is to say, reflected on the past, pontificated on the future, and honestly, am just plain out of words on the subject. Now that I have been in LA more than half the time that I lived in New York, does it even make sense to compare my life now to what it was then? I don't know if it's just that the LA has totally seeped in, or that my 30's have been such a different decade than my 20's, but I do feel like a very different person than I was four years ago. Maybe I'm just sober more often.

Nah, that's not it.

These past four years have been some of the most challenging of my life, but, as such things usually are, also incredibly rewarding. What I find myself thinking lately, though, is that nothing has ever been that hard. I've experienced my share of setbacks and disappointments and faced the same insecurities as everyone else, but overall, I've led one hell of a charmed life.

Things with my move fell into place so easily, I can't help but feel the Universe moved into alignment to help. I also know I could never do it now. I couldn't quit a job in this economy trusting blindly in contacts on the other coast. Lucky I did it when I did.

I think about how lucky I am that I even found LA, found somewhere that would make me happy. Found the job that I did, the career I've fallen into. Lucky to have made the friends I have and kept the ones I left.

And though I grew tired of it, my life was pretty perfect in New York. I had the best friends, a bustling career, and perennial bragging rights that I lived in the Center of the Universe. I was also lucky to have so randomly met and befriended Tracy, whose singular existence has served as the catalyst for the last half-decade of my life.

Somewhere in all of this gratitude that keeps me awake at night and choking back tears during namaste, I've also realized that I've done a lot of work, too. I've found a calm and a strength and made a lot of changes to make the most of my second chance. My fortune could run dry tomorrow but it will never be entirely taken away. After all, luck has definitely been on my side, but someone had the good sense to make the wish in the first place.