Things I am tired of hearing about and what I would rather discuss instead

Instead of: Getting work emails every few hours announcing that another magazine has folded, or that another editorial staff/department has been let go

I would rather: Receive emails that are receptive to my pitches and are dying to write about my fabulous products!

Instead of: Discussing the moral and psychological issues behind a woman who chooses to have fourteen kids and the doctor who implanted them

I would rather: Question the validity of the doctor who gave her those lips, and ask where she got the money for so much plastic surgery

Instead of: Hating on Jessica Simpson because she has the audacity to look like a normal person

I would rather: Hate on the normal people who support obsessive-celebrity-weight headlines by buying these trashy magazines. Gossip is free on the Internet, people. While I don't want to see any more writers losing their editorial jobs, the world might be a better place if the tabloid industry applied their journalistic skills elsewhere.

Instead of: Being told by every relevant media outlet that Jennifer Aniston is needy and pathetic

I would rather: See He's Just Not That Into You

Okay, I kind of want to see that movie anyway. But seriously, give the girl a break. Considering Team Jolie has basically spawned a federally-funded three-ring circus, I'm kind of grateful that the most copied thing about Jennifer is an old haircut.