Time traveling in Tucson

So. You know how on Wednesday I said that I had planned to spend my free time at Canyon Ranch doing Sunrise Yoga and getting a facial? Well, that didn't happen. Rather, I opted to further my "when in Rome" theory, deciding to draw on the resort's wealth of resources to experience my first Clairvoyant Reading and Shamanic Journey, instead.

I've always been intrigued by the idea of going to a psychic. But, I don't know - it's hard to know who to trust and who might be a quack. And I've never had any dire questions or need for knowledge; rather my interest has been borne out of a sheer curiosity that, while never abating, also never quite seemed important enough to risk part of my paycheck.

Shamans, on the other hand, weren't even on my radar until recently, and I probably would never seek one out; but when I saw the experience listed on the program menu, I figured I might be looking at a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

It's been almost 36 hours, and I'm still trying to come to terms with the experience. Both of them told me things that were spot-on, made perfect sense; they also both came out with concepts that were so seemingly random and unattached to anything in my life right now, they may as well have been referring to another person, or, at least in one case, another life.

For instance, the Shaman told me that I was very tuned into the animal world. Did I work with them now? Because I could read them and converse with them and had a very intense, deep connection with them. Ummm, not so much. I mean, I enjoy a cute puppy or kitten as much as the next person, and, sure, I felt a connection with my childhood pet. But now? I think most animals - wild and domestic - are dirty, annoying, a nuisance. (Except for your beautiful, loving, baby-delicious pets! They, of course, are just as awesome as you think they are. And no, I don't mind their fur all over my black pants. Seriously.) So there was that.

But the Shaman told me plenty of other things that completely resonated. She said I have always been surrounded by strong women - and that certainly feels right. She saw a few of my lives, but kept going back to one when I was raised among gypsies in Morocco; in my present life, of course, I have my mom who raised me, my aunt who inspired my camp, my college, and my move to NYC, and the fact that I have worked almost exclusively at women-run companies.

She also said that I was an old soul - I have lived many lives - but in all of them (or at least as many as she could see), I died very young. That may sound morbid to you, but something clicked within me. I've written before that when I was a kid, I was obsessed with ghosts. I also had an irrational fear of death and dying, and never thought I would live to be 18. Once 18, I was sure I would never make it to 21. Then 25. By the time I was 25 I was over it and chalked the whole thing up to a simple fear of the unknown - I hadn't known what I wanted to be when I grew up, so I simply couldn't picture it. But now, this information just felt like a puzzle piece snapping quietly, seamlessly into place.

The Shaman went on to say that this was, perhaps, the oldest I had ever been, and I was having a hard time with aging, becoming an adult. After all, I have never done it before. I think that's an interesting explanation for some of the anxiety and ambiguity I've felt over the last few years; I'm sure it's not the only one. I do wonder, though, if it has anything to do with my working in the beauty industry. After all, for the last nine years I've worked in a field entirely centered around women uncomfortable with their age, wanting to look younger.

She said some other things that made sense - she knew I was a writer, that I preferred open spaces and didn't like to be confined, and that I didn't like to do things I wasn't good at. I suppose a lot of people don't, but I used those exact words in a conversation pretty recently. I also, apparently, had a life in Siberia. Later, when I shared that with my co-workers, they, in unison, exclaimed, "So THAT's why you're always so cold!" (I am. Always. Freezing.)

At the end of the session, she said that my mission for this lifetime is peace. I don't know if that refers to internal peace or bringing peace to others, and I didn't ask for clarification. I suppose it seems a bit vague and almost like something she should say to everyone. I mean, if you tell enough people that they were put on this planet to bring peace, I imagine a few will be scared or guilted enough to attempt it. Right? But then she told my coworker that her mission was to heal, and this woman, well, she is a healer. She's the founder and president of my company that is based on "natural, healing ingredients." I think her mission has been pretty much accomplished.

She said some other things that resonated but are too detailed or banal to go into here. Also, unlike the clairvoyant, she didn't record the session, so I'm sure I'm forgetting a few things, though the main themes have stayed with me. Since I do have a transcription from the clairvoyant, I'll post more on that later this week. Fifty minutes of fortune telling is way too much for this post. Stay tuned...