Of fish in the sea, a shallow pool

Perhaps you've heard of this thing called online dating.

If you're my age, and single, chances are you haven't only heard of it but you've tried it, and if you're anything like the people I know, just can't quit it. (Sorry, I know that was so three months ago.) Like most of my single friends back on the east coast, I've done Match.com; at this point we're all still single and on varying degrees of hiatus from the site. But here on the west coast it seems like everyone I know is on JDate, the online site for Jewish singles, and despite the fact that the site has tens of thousands of members, my social life incestuously keeps revolving around the same familiar few.

Before I moved to LA, I never really gave JDate much thought. I am half Jewish, and while my half is the legit half (from the mom's side!) it's always been just a half too short for any of the Jewish guys I've dated. Then again, I tend to gravitate towards the potbellied Irish drunks, so really, no love lost there. But since I've been here, JDate has been like an omnipresent character that not only won't go away but in fact keeps multiplying in the amount of times it wants to make itself known. Everyone's doing it, and by everyone, I mean the same 10-20 people I see on a regular social basis.

The last boy I dated happened to be Jewish and happened to be on Match. He must have had mixed feeling about dating a Jewess with a side of shiksa, because he was also double-dipping on JDate for a while. It didn't bother me at first, until I went out to dinner with three of my girlfriends who were on JDate, and they spent the evening comparing stories and sharing the screen names of their recent blind dates. It turned out that each of them shared more in common than they thought, and I spent the night silently praying that Double Dipper's name didn't become part of anyone's story. (It didn't. Yet.) That was just the beginning of what I was becoming to realize was a very small world, after all.

I once went to a party where my friend was convinced she recognized a guy - she thought maybe he was an actor or on a reality show. No, it turns out she recognized him from his JDate profile. That actually happens to her quite frequently now, though never to me through Match. I've been out on other nights to what my friends will deem "unofficial JDate parties" - where every Jewish Angeleno under the age of 35 is in attendance and not only have they cross-dated among my friends, they went to either high school, college, or summer camp with them too. Last night was such an evening, and I, the lone gentile (but not really! Only half!), found myself the only one in the room who didn't know anyone except the people I came with. Well, that's not true - I had met a handful of others at the last "unofficial JDate party". For much of the night I sat on the couch between two girls who had dated the same guy - who was further down on the couch - and continued to wonder how in a city of more than 10 million people, the same few continue to spin my social circle. As usual when it comes to religion, I didn't quite fit in, but didn't necessarily want to. That's an entirely different post, though.

Back to Double Dipper. Since we broke up, he has inadvertantly met two of my friends through JDate. The first wasn't my friend at the time (although that still says a lot about how small this city, and oh, JDate, is); the second recognized him upon arrival which subsequently, and understandably, ruined the mood. I can't say I wasn't relieved. Win one for the semi-shiksa.

NOTE ABOUT POLITICAL CORRECTNESS - I'll finish with a personal note to let you know that it has taken me a long time (about 3.5 hours - wow - do I have some free time! Maybe I should join JDate) to write this post because, when I first started, I wasn't sure how I wanted to put my feelings into words. Then, as it came out, I became aware that this could offend some people if they a.) actually read this, and b.) missed the part where I said that I am Jewish too; but you know, religion is a tricky thing and that's why they say you should never bring it up at parties. I suppose I could have been more politically correct in getting across my points, but I'm not yet that good of a writer. In any case, what I was trying to say is that with this whole JDate phenomenon, I feel like a fish out of water, even though to look at me you'd think I was a natural swimmer. Religion has always been an unanswered question in my life, and dating is just one big black hole. Put them together and I really have no idea what I'm talking about.