I'll take a gym membership and a time machine, please

I had my Equifit assesment today, the complimentary fit test Equinox offers to determine how much more money you should give them to have a personal trainer whip your fat, sloveny ass into shape. It's a smart tactic, actually. Pinch my fat rolls and break me down, then give me a free training session to build me back up. Just watch me try to keep my wallet in my pants when it's over. I'm a sucker for slim.

I'm actually in pretty good shape. Not that I was worried, but I've never actually known my body fat (22.1%) had my blood pressure written out for me (120/78), or competed in a push-up contest (I could do more than 30, which, being off the charts, registered as "excellent". Yes, I'm bragging.) One thing did irk me though. They break down results by age group, and while normally I would be thrilled to still qualify for the youngest (20-29) bracket, I don't feel that my fit level shouldn't be judged under the same standards as that of a 20 year old. At less than six months away from 30 (ugh), I found myself actually wanting to be bumped up a bracket so my cardiovascular fitness score would be considered "good" and not just "average".

Remind me of that when, on the night of June 1st, I'm making a list of ways to commit suicide rather than face the dreaded birthday.