Tool
Okay, readers! Here's a chance to get creative. Following, please see an actual email from a 39 year old man on Match.com. In his favor, at least he can spell. Please comment with your suggested reply to this email, and the winner/most creative will get a virtual hug from me. And possibly another blog post out of this if I choose to send it. Act fast, though. My Match subscription runs out on Friday, so I'll be canceling by bedtime on Thursday night.
Kisses!
Subject line: Do Yourself a Favor and RESPOND (Caps, his)
Hey there,
I'm 4' 1" tall and 73 pounds overweight. I've got super long hair - like past my shoulders - and tattoos all over my body. I'm 68 years old and just got my 7th body piercing this past weekend. Sound good so far?
Just kidding!
Saw your profile and I think you deserve a chance to get to know me. I'd be we could get along well. So when you get a chance, check out my profile. If you are interested (which I know you will be) drop me a line.
If you sound as interesting as your profile says, I might write you back. ;)
Until then,
Scott
UPDATE, 5 minutes later:
So, umm, either this guy reads my blog, has ESP, or just had a very sudden case of email remorse, because I just got a follow-up email in my Inbox:
RE: Do Yourself a Favor and RESPOND
Hey there -
I was just kidding with the previous email :)
I'm sure you have to surf through hundreds of Match emails a week, so I thought I'd say something that would attract your attention and ruffle your feathers a bit. So, did it work?
Now that I have your attention, hang in there just a little bit longer...
Actually, I'm totally the opposite of the impression you probably got from my previous email. Do you think anyone that was truly that arrogant would still have a lot of friends? You'll see that I'm actually very easy going and fun - and I'll treat you with respect - just like all the other people with which I spend my time.
Hey, how about giving this interaction thing a chance? You'll quickly find we get along quite well, and you'd be surprised at the real me - if you take the time to get to know me better.
You willing to hang in there a little longer to see where this goes? Please let me know either way.
Looking forward to getting to know you better.
Scott
So, now, obviously, he sounds a little more normal, but as a marketing professional, I feel like I should write back to him and remind him of that old Secret deodorant commercial - "you never get a second chance to make a first impression." Sorry, Charlie. Uh, Scotty.
Suggested replies, of course, are still welcome.
Suggested replies, of course, are still welcome.
Labels: boys
posted by Lori @ 12:32 PM
8 Comments:
I don't think I can help you with this one -- he's intrigued me! Yup, you interpreted that correctly -- I'd be interested in getting to know this dude if I weren't married.
I'm guessing that I'll be in the minority. And I'm guessing that's why I dated so many losers while I was single. But I can't help it -- the guy's got something goin' on. Well, at least in my eyes.
PS. Is he good-looking?
I wish I had the guts to try something like that, though, I my own world where people actually want to talk to you based on what is in your profile, not a pick up line.
Yeah, you know, it's just not my sense of humor. And even though he wrote the nice follow-up, I'm turned off already. He is cute-ish. Can't really tell. But there are a couple other jokes in his profile that I don't get or find funny at all, so I think we can say this one wasn't meant to be regardless.
Ugh. The whole time I was reading this, I was thinking, "SERIOUSLY?"
I mean, it's nice that he's not as much of a douche canoe as I originally thought, but come on! If you need to pitch yourself *that* hard by writing two different emails (and inserting the thought that he might have multiple personalities), I'd move on.
I don't even know what *would* be the correct response...because to be honest, I'm sure he's heard it all. It seems to me that this is his schtick that he does with everyone since he didn't seem to write anything about your profile or what attracted you to him. Maybe he did and left it out though.
It's not my sense of humor either, though.
HFP - Exactly. I also noticed that he didn't write anything about my profile or why, specifically, he would even want to get to know me, so I figured this was totally his schtick and it's probably a mass message. I get that it's Match and I usually try to give guys a break in that capacity, but there's no reason for me to bother.
Sounds like this guy paid $79 for some "How to Get Responses From Women Online" seminar and is using their techniques - and not very well.
Marc:
Totally. And you KNOW that he was wearing gold chains and too much Axe body spray. :)
He seems like he's not that bad a guy but he's just NOT my kind of funny (is he anyone's kind of funny???) and he'd bug the shit out of me.
I'd go easy on the guy. I'd write back and tell him that you were all up for hanging out with a 4'1, 73 pound guy but now that you know he was just kidding about that, you're just not interested. :)
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