This is my brain on overdrive

Thanks, everyone, for playing the Match game. Despite all of your good advice, I chose the overlooked yet underrated C option, saying briefly, "Sorry, I think you have me confused with someone else."

I figured that if he really thought we had talked and it was him that let it slip, if I chose A or D he would think I was being bitter about it. D definitely sounds bitter, and A or B could be misconstrued as much. And if he really wasn't sure, this was enough to say, Yes I looked at your profile and no, I'm not impressed. Because I graduated from the University of Overthinkthingsmuch. Shockingly, I haven't gotten a response, but to remind everyone who commented earlier, the point is not to date him or to even play the game, just to maybe have some fun with someone who probably wouldn't even get my sarcasm. So why bother?

Yesterday I went to a pool party for my friend/old neighbor who just moved to a house in the Valley with her husband. As she gave me the grand tour and we came across one of the spare bedrooms, I noticed it was filled with baby toys. "I'm nine weeks pregnant!" she said, somewhat sheepish to be telling me this way. I hugged her and hoped she wouldn't notice if I turned visibly green with envy.

Today I went to the beach and had a great time in the sun and the sand with a big group and a small round of cocktails. I came home to see pictures from my friend Andra's wedding, which was yesterday. No, I don't know why she's at a computer and not on her honeymoon, but maybe I would know if I had gone, which I didn't.

Andra is one of my best friends from high school, and while we don't talk too much anymore, she is still one of my oldest and dearest friends. When I found out she was getting married near her family's house on Cape Cod, I did some quick math and realized that unless I took a few days off from work and purchased airfare, like, last October, it just wasn't feasible. But I can't tell you how much I am regretting that right now.

Is this just absolutely the best wedding picture you've ever seen? I mean, aside from the fact that the groom is wearing flip flops, and I would probably rather die an old bitter spinster than marry someone who wears flip flops to his own wedding, but at the same time, that's what makes this so great. That is SO Andra's husband. I could have told you that when we were 16, before any of us really knew anything.

I wish I had gone. I thought about it, a lot. Agonized over it, a bit. I wanted to go, but didn't want to endure the planes, trains, and automobiles, not to mention the bank withdrawal, it would have taken me to get there. There are about six of us from high school that are still in touch, still get together on birthdays, holidays, and now, weddings. As we've gotten older, and all moved away, the occasions to see each other have gotten fewer and further between. But that has also made them a lot more special. I wanted to go to this wedding because I know those opportunities are becoming fewer, and further apart. But after all my trips going back to the east coast last fall, I realized this year that I NEED to make LA my home - I can't keep flying home whenever someone I love has a party. Enough of living with one foot out the door, as another blogger aptly put it. Either make my life here or move back, but stop living half way on each coast.

So I stayed here, and had a great weekend, but am greatly regretting not going back for this one. I can't help but feel like I missed out on something I should have been a part of. Never mind that Andra and I talk once, twice a year, usually over email or through our other friends. I just should have been there. So why wasn't I?

I think because I was punishing myself. For moving across the country, away from my friends and family, to something I said I wanted. In other words, I made my bed; now I have to lie in it.

For the record, Andra and Phil met on eHarmony.

And to bring this full circle, I was catching up with Briztow Jones this weekend, and came across her mom's wedding website in the link section. Karen met her fiance on Match. He winked at her. She winked back at him. The rest is history. It made me rethink my rules about winking. But then I remembered that guys who wink are also the type of guys to not remember doing so, and I may be a lot of things but I've never thought "forgettable" was one of them.