Cracking the Crunch Code
I went back to Crunch last night. I didn't think it was possible for my comfort level to decrease with time and familiarity, but what do I know? First, I was truly one of the most unattractive people there. I am used to gym scenes, but this is something altogether different.
The mind started reeling as I was on the treadmill. What I saw and what I'm about to describe is somewhat raunchy, or, for lack of a better word, just - ick. Have you ever looked a scene or a photograph, and there is something off about it, but you don't know exactly what it is? Then as you continue to look at it, or later on, when you are thinking about something completely different, it hits you?
I'm running on the treadmill, and am staring at the back of a guy running on the treadmill in front of me. I first notice that instead of athletic shorts, he's wearing cargo shorts, which is kind of bizaare, but like I mentioned, this place is more of a fashion show than a traditional gym. The reason I notice his shorts at all is because they kept riding down, and he had to keep pulling them back up. I'm thinking, hmm, I've never seen that before, but okay, it happens, I suppose. The more I watch, the more they fall, until his butt crack is in front of me every other minute. Slip, moon, hide, slip, moon, hide, etc. I'm thinking this is definitely weird, but maybe that is part of the whole cruising scene. I've never seen that in a straight gym, but I'm not in a straight gym, and I reiterate - what do I know?
That's when it hits me why I've never seen this before. I mean, surely you've walked down the street and noticed that 50 percent of the guys on it have their pants hanging down to mid-thigh. The difference is that their butt cracks don't show because they are wearing underwear. Which changes the issue altogether. The fact is, this guy has been running for 45 minutes with no underwear. Running. On a treadmill. For 45 minutes. With no underwear. Gay, straight, whatever... ouch?
The mind started reeling as I was on the treadmill. What I saw and what I'm about to describe is somewhat raunchy, or, for lack of a better word, just - ick. Have you ever looked a scene or a photograph, and there is something off about it, but you don't know exactly what it is? Then as you continue to look at it, or later on, when you are thinking about something completely different, it hits you?
I'm running on the treadmill, and am staring at the back of a guy running on the treadmill in front of me. I first notice that instead of athletic shorts, he's wearing cargo shorts, which is kind of bizaare, but like I mentioned, this place is more of a fashion show than a traditional gym. The reason I notice his shorts at all is because they kept riding down, and he had to keep pulling them back up. I'm thinking, hmm, I've never seen that before, but okay, it happens, I suppose. The more I watch, the more they fall, until his butt crack is in front of me every other minute. Slip, moon, hide, slip, moon, hide, etc. I'm thinking this is definitely weird, but maybe that is part of the whole cruising scene. I've never seen that in a straight gym, but I'm not in a straight gym, and I reiterate - what do I know?
That's when it hits me why I've never seen this before. I mean, surely you've walked down the street and noticed that 50 percent of the guys on it have their pants hanging down to mid-thigh. The difference is that their butt cracks don't show because they are wearing underwear. Which changes the issue altogether. The fact is, this guy has been running for 45 minutes with no underwear. Running. On a treadmill. For 45 minutes. With no underwear. Gay, straight, whatever... ouch?
Labels: gym
posted by Lori @ 8:57 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home