32 years of anxiety packed tightly in a rolly-bag and carry-on

With only a few hours left to go, I'm unusually nervous about my trip to Peru.

Considering I fly, on average, about once per month, and have visited a number of foreign countries (well, not a big number, but a decent handful), I really have no reason to be so. Maybe it's the idea of spending a week in a second world country, or that, given the state of the economy, I might be returning home to one, but I am uncommonly unsettled right now.

Because I don't want to spend my trip (or the hours leading up to it) being a Nervous Nelly, I am going to purge all my fears in this one blog post, and then, hopefully, never utter them again.

I can't help but feel like I've forgotten something major. However, I have packed: my passport, my wallet, my camera, my camera battery charger, my ipod, my ipod charger, my phone (which won't work) and my phone charger, all my toiletries, ten pairs of underwear and socks, four pairs of shoes, seven pairs of pants, less than half the hoodies in my closet, about 40 other tops, books, magazines, Spanish Phrases for Dummies, and probably a million other things I was worried about forgetting which is why all this has been packed since Saturday.

I am worried about not having a working cell phone. I'm already having separation anxiety at the thought of not checking my email, my Facebook, Gawker, Huffington Post, the Dow, my work email, how well my soap is selling, and, of course, the 20+ blogs I read. I know at least one hotel will have a business center. The point, however, is that I am going ON VACATION and should probably learn how to actually enjoy it.

I am worried that I only got to lesson 12 in Coffee Break Spanish. Although I have eight podcasts downloaded for my trip, and I already know everything I really need to say: "No entiendo, lo siento" and "Mas despacio, por favor!" But I was really hoping to be a bit more bilingual by now.

I am worried about finding the good kind of cab from the Lima airport. I am worried that Customs may take my two boxes of Zone bars, which I brought so I could have options other than guinea pig. Or cat. I am worried that security might take the few sleeping pills I'm smuggling on board, hiding them like they are something much worse (and more fun). I'm worried about getting the middle seat or being seated next to someone highly undesirable. I'm worried about sleeping on the flight, or, more accurately, NOT sleeping. I'm worried about connecting in Panama City, or, by some scheduling issue, not connecting in Panama City.

I'm worried about our flights to Cusco, that they might be delayed and we might miss out on part of our package. I'm worried about getting altitude sickness in Cusco, which is 11,000 feet above sea level. I'm worried about one of the other tour companies messing up our reservations and therefore our schedule in Peru. I'm worried about paying in Sols and haggling at the market and having to worry about not losing my passport.

I'm actually worried about being worried. I would take one of the few Xanax I'm bringing for the flights, but then I would worry about not having it when I need it. I could drink some wine but then, what if I had too much and forgot something important? I really need to get over this.

In any case, I hope you all have a worry-free week. Look for a fun guest-post on Tuesday! And if I can tear myself away from ancient Incan culture, I will consider trying to update from down below.

Adios, amigos!