In which I read entirely too much into a reality show that should have been cancelled five seasons ago

For the first time in years, I have been so into The Bachelor.

I know, I know, that is extremely uncool. The show has sucked for many seasons, but something about this season sucked me right in. Part of that had to do with the Bachelor himself, Brad. A refreshing change from the last few Bachelors, I thought he was extremely good looking (my type!), seemingly quite down to earth, and could carry a conversation.

Perhaps a testament to the casting director, I thought the bachelorettes were on the normal side as well. Gone were the bleached blond bimbos of seasons past; in their place stood spunky, sassy brunettes who could also carry a conversation, often about subjects beyond swimsuits or body shots. They were fun, cool girls to watch, and I never had that sinking feeling that Brad would let me down by choosing a bimbo. I was proud of ABC for moving away from the Girls Gone Wild theme they seemed to embrace for the past few years; proud of Brad every week when he kept the best girls - Deanna and Jenni - right up until the end. It made me like him more, not that it matters for much besides ratings. I guess it just gave this sassy brunette a bit of hope, is all.

But tonight's episode made me love it, love him even more, when - SPOILER ALERT - he let both girls go home. They were both absolutely perfect - yet neither was perfect for him. And rather than than carry on a fake engagement for a few months to further his own public profile, he was the first Bachelor in history to admit that a few fantasy dream dates does not an "ever after" make.

I believe the girls thought they truly loved him. Don't we, as girls, do that? Look for something where there's nothing, fill in the blanks with the first convenient label we find, so long as there's not an empty space haunting our thoughts, a hole in our hearts we're trying to fill? I can't even imagine how intensified the feelings must get on this show, competing with ridiculously gorgeous, camera-friendly women, or having producers continually ask for updates on your deepest, darkest feelings, but condensed into sound bites, please? Connecting with someone is hard enough in the best of circumstances; attempting to do so with an audience and an entourage is beyond even my imagination.

And yet, I liked it this time because it seemed so real. Even the two finalists seemed the most real on the show - no bleach or silicone or collagen between them. I suppose it's possible, too, that I relate just a little bit too much - that part of me appreciates seeing two other seemingly perfect girls having to wait just a little bit longer for their happy ending.