Probably just adding to the ex files

Upon request, here is the ex-boyfriend post I started on Sunday. And revisited Monday. And gave up on Tuesday:

One of the benefits of dating me is that the relationship probably won't last but I'll never begrudge you for it later. Unlike many people, I find that I have remained friends with almost all of my exes from my adult/post-college life. Maybe this is a testament to the fact that I generally go out with pretty decent guys and have healthy, if passionless relationships, or maybe it's a sign that I am much more comfortable living in the past than looking towards the future, but it works for me and is something I am fairly proud of.

Recently, two exes have made their way back into my life. Nothing romantic is happening with either - not that I would want there to be - but I find it interesting that they both came back into my life at the same time. Especially since both of them are officially "off the market."

Maybe because I know nothing can happen with them, but I allow myself a kind of a guilty thrill whenever I hear from each. There's something comfortable and familiar about ex-boyfriends, where I can relax and be completely myself, seeing as they already know me so well - and still want to talk to me. There's also something validating about the connection, as if, in spite of all my failed relationships, I have tangible proof that actual guys have, in fact, liked me.

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This is where the post stopped, because after those thoughts, I couldn't think of where I really wanted to go with the story. There IS no story, I guess is the problem. I am not having an illicit affair with anyone, nor do I want one. I had just come off a long, comfortably fun day with Copywriter, and I wanted to write about it, but there wasn't really anything to write. What stuck out in my mind most that evening was how nice it was to be back in touch with him, and, even though it doesn't technically mean anything, the fact that I have his friendship means a lot.

And I guess that has been happening a bit lately. Exes getting in touch with me for no reason, really, other than to say hi, to reminisce. I'm smart enough to know that such correspondance isn't always innocent, but, like I said, I have dated pretty decent guys and if I thought any had insincere motives, I wouldn't encourage the friendship. I have been the other woman, once in my life, and while I am still friends with him too, I know better than to ever do it again. No one needs that kind of karma.

And in the name of karma, I figured that this sudden influx of exes might be a sign for me to balance out my boy energy. If I'm going to have all these guys from my past, then maybe it's time to find some for my future.

Late Sunday night, after I gave up on the blog, I signed myself up for Match.