From the "What was I thinking?" pile

I'm really having a hard time with this idea that tapered jeans (now so romantically referred to as "cigarrette jeans" or "stovepipe pants" or "slim-fit jeans" - please, I don't care what you call them, they're still tapered) and leggings are the biggest new trend for fall. I don't care how "fresh" Vogue says this look is, or how surprisingly cute some of the girls look wearing them, I have a mental block around the idea that what was popular in seventh grade is coming back now. Seventh grade was probably the worst year of my life, and I have no interest in re-doing any of it, least of all the clothes. (Although I am dying - dying! - with anticipation of the release of the 20th anniversary Dirty Dancing DVD and accompanying T-shirt collection).

They say (I don't know who "they" are, but I believe them) that if you were around for a trend's first incarnation, you're too old to wear it a second time. So that gives me good support for skipping the looks above, except then I'm afraid I'm going to be that out-of-touch old woman wearing "mom jeans." I don't know what's worse: looking like you're trying too hard, or not trying at all.

In part to protest the return of leggings, and in part to join the Bershon picture-posting trend seen round the internet (or maybe just the "mommy blogs"- see, I'm halfway there already), I present you with the one good reason I'll be staying away from leggings, at least until it becomes okay to tease my bangs again:

I mean, today it's demure black leggings peeking out from under a skirt, tomorrow, it's head-to-toe sartorial anarchy.