In the spirit of Alice Nelson

I'm the last person in the world to offer housecleaning advice, but I discovered something this weekend I'd like to share with the world. Service magazines, take note.

I've written before about my bathtub. It's old, and as such, I tend to mistake dirt for stains. Stains that have pre-dated my time in this apartment. Because, I'll be honest with you - and this is partly why I shouldn't be offering domestic advice - but I don't really understand how bathtubs get dirty in the first place.

Maybe if I were a bather I could understand the dirt accretion - I mean, it's just sitting there for however long the bath runs and then, as the water sloooowwwwwly drains, probably adheres to a ring around the tub. However, I don't take baths precisely because I don't enjoy being submersed in my own filth. I take only showers, which quickly and efficiently rinses dirty water down the drain - with soap! - so I can't comprehend the physics behind it.

Regardless, I'd been noticing over the past week that my tub was looking more stained than usual. So this weekend I sprayed the Clorox Disinfecting Bathroom Cleanser, let it sit, and then scrubbed. And saw no improvement. So I did it again: spray, let sit, scrub. Nothing. Finally, as the cleanser set during the third go-around, I decided to consult the all-knowing Internet. (Why it always takes me so long to think of these things, I don't know, but I'm gifted in other ways.)

I Googled "How to get rid of bathtub stains" and quickly came across a situation that looked similar to my own. I started reading through the comments, and noticed a handful of people recommending pumice stone. Then I read another site that suggested combining pumice stone with eucalyptus for a more ecological treatment. Then I remembered that I own a foot scrub that's basically just ground up pumice with eucalyptus oil, and decided to give it a go.

And what do you know? In five minutes, my tub was sparkling. Brilliant. Completely stain-free. My sponge was destroyed, and I'm not advocating the regular use of pricey beauty products for something so declasse, but since I'm more likely to stock up on skin scrubs than baking soda, it was the perfect solution in a pinch.