My other name is Debbie Downer

I hate writing serious things on my blog, probably because I am such a serious person in real life and like to use the blog as an outlet for all my superficial, non-serious interests. You know, like Jack Tripper, flip-flops, Jet Blue.

But I'm sad tonight because a close friend told me earlier that his dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. And this friend is actually somewhat more than a friend, a relationship that carries baggage all on its own, no cancer necessary.

It just sucks. Getting older, I mean. I've (finally!) gone more than month feeling really happy and settled and at peace with being 30 years old - and I'm not just saying that. With work being so good and friendships growing and thriving on both coasts, I've felt really comfortable lately with who I am and where I am in my life. But the older I get, the more people I know are affected by something.

I never really knew death growing up. I had all four grandparents until I was 22, and now, eight years later, I still have two. My aunt had a bout with breast cancer a few years ago, and come to think of it, her husband, my uncle, had a brain tumor the year before, but both of them tackled each with the same efficiency they use in their everyday life, brushing the disease aside and living their lives, dammit!; not once did it occur to me I might lose them.

Another uncle this year had skin cancer, but it was caught early and is treatable. All around me are friends and co-workers, fellow-bloggers, even, who have parents, aunts, in-laws recently diagnosed with something relatively traumatic. And what can we do? It's not going to stop. It's just going to continue, until we get even older and then people younger than us start getting sick.

I don't mean to sound hopeless - I'm not; I'm just a bit melancholy. And, I know, I know, feel lucky for what you have - trust me, I do, you have no idea how much I do. I guess it's just having that little bit of realism forcibly injected into my happily superficial world bringing me back down to earth.