Middle seat blues

One of the best things about Jet Blue is that they offer 36 channels of Direct TV on individual seat-back screens. Not only does having a TV to watch make the time go by faster, but it shuts everyone else the hell up too, making the flying experience infinitely more enjoyable.

Every time I fly Jet Blue, I look forward to catching up on my favorite Bravo shows. Wouldn't you know it, the bizaare cable package that I have at home gives me 7 HBO’s but no Bravo. God may hate me, but Jet Blue loves me. I once spent an entire flight watching a Project Runway marathon, catching up on Season 2 from about epsidode 8 until the semi-finals.

More recently, I've looked forward to Kathy Griffin:My Life on The D List. I've always thought she was funny, but this show is nothing short of brilliant. I laugh out loud every 5 or 10 minutes or so. My neighbors probably hate me.

Another thing I like about Jet Blue is that they offer more leg room than any other airline. (No, they’re not paying me to write this). So having a middle seat isn’t any worse than an aisle seat on say, Delta or United. In fact, I don’t usually mind taking the middle seat because the truth is, I’m smaller than the average adult and once spent an entire cross country flight feeling guilty about lounging in an aisle seat while a 6’4 man scrunched himself into the middle. Since then, I’ve had no problem taking one for the team. Plus, it doubles my chances of sitting next to an attractive guy.

Of course, the flip side is that is also doubles my chances of sitting next to a freak, and this trip I happened to sit next to two freaks.

One was a girl younger than I, an actress who wanted me to know so by the amount of times she thumbed through her script, and at one point, alerted me to the fact that her sister was in a movie on the screen right in front of us. What annoyed me, though, is that she insisted on taking off her shoes, and hooking her oddly large size 9 bare feet into the seat back pocket in front her. You know, where you might store a magazine or your icy cold bottle of water you bought just for the flight. I looked at her in digust. People actually put their hands there, I tried to convey. But she was an oblivious teenager more focused on her script, and probably hooked her feet into the seat for no other reason than to garner attention. As if I'm somebody, sweetheart. Sorry.

On my other side was an Asian guy who I actually thought was a woman for the first hour of the flight. He was on the aisle, and when I got up to go to the bathroom, preferred to not stand but let me decide whether it was better to shove my ass or crotch in his skinny frowning face. Seriously, though? We're on a five and a half hour flight. Would you really not want to use this opportunity to stand up and stretch?

He also smelled like ginger. I hate ginger.