If insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result, then I could probably benefit from an asylum

So, I am headed home to Boston for the weekend.

I actually planned this trip a while ago, because my mother has a doctor's appointment on Monday and needs someone to drive her home from it. A year ago we agreed that if she drove me home from getting my wisdom teeth out, I would drive her home from this. But it also turns out that my friend Heather is having her 30th birthday party celebration tomorrow (Saturday) night so the trip has turned into quite the social event as well. Even more so because the New York boy is coming in for the weekend too.

He grew up maybe half an hour from me, and had been planning on making a trip to see his family this month anyway. When I told him that I'd be home this weekend, he decided that it would make sense to combine the trips so we could see each other. And I didn't think much of the fact that he'd probably be meeting my mom and five or so of my high school friends until just about an hour ago. And now my stomach is lodged somewhere up in my throat.

What makes me so nervous is that I've done this before. This entire scenerio. I've written before that about three years ago I was in a long distance relationship, me in New York, him in Pennsylvania. My 27th birthday fell on the same weekend as a friend's bridal shower in MA, and I had decided to go to it long before he was in the picture. Once he was, I invited him to come in for the weekend, even though it meant that he would have to fly in from PA, rent a car because my NYC self wasn't driving at that point, and by the way, sorry, but you're not invited to the shower which was four hours of my Sunday morning. He did it all anyway. He flew in early Saturday, drove to my mom's house (I had met his parents five times by this point so didn't see any issue with that) and then on Saturday night we met all of my high school friends out for drinks. He charmed my girlfriends and bonded with the one other boyfriend. When I went to the shower on Sunday morning, he entertained himself by going to the mall and buying my mom a gift. It was one of the most selfless, romantic, out-of-the-way things anyone I've known has ever done.

The next time we saw each other he broke up with me.

I am a superstitious person and have always kind of chalked it up to the fact that once I get comfortable with something, it inevitably gets taken away from me. I was relating this story at lunch, and then my friend suggested what probably should have been obvious: maybe it was that trip that made him realize that I wasn't the person he saw himself with. Oh, hello reality. I hadn't really thought of it like that. After all, I'm a fairly confident person and I assume if someone likes me, and takes planes, trains and automobiles to see me, they'll like me in spite of who my friends and family are. But it's not as if I've never judged someone on the same things. So maybe that was it. And if so, did I make a mistake by planning to repeat a virtually identical scenerio? Is it too soon to invite him into this part of my life? Or is it better to show my cards up front, before I have too much to lose? Or am I completely overreacting and what happened with one person is in no way indicative of what could happen now?

Either way, the deja vu is frightening.