Boys who ride buses

Speaking of nice Jewish girls named Hilary, I not too long ago discovered Superfluous Juxtaposition. (How could you not love a blog with that name?) I've never met this Hilary, but she is 32, single, and seems like a pretty cool chick, so I often feel like we have a lot in common.

Hilary's blog covers a lot of different topics, but one of the main themes is dating, and all of the idiots that have crossed her path over the last few years. While each guy seems to have a different story, if you ask her, it usually just seems to come down to The Bus.

You can read her full explanation here, but essentially: "The Bus, known to many throughout the country as the answer to the question 'Why didn’t he call?,' has been around for many years but only very recently has the public learned of its existence. Says one once-confused-but-now-in-the-know-single woman, 'I always wondered what happened to the guys I went on dates with that disappeared. You know, the ones who said they’d call but didn’t. Now I know. The Bus picked them up.' ”

Now, I said I thought we have a lot in common. Did you know that I, too, used to have a bus theory? Back when I was at the tender age of 20, before I even had any idea of what dating crap would be in store for me down the road, I surmised that life was like a bus. In that, you see, some buses just take you from point A to point B, and then everyone gets off and goes their separate ways. But other buses transfer, and even though you may go to new locations, you stay with the same group. Just like how, in life, there are people that you meet that are meant to be with you forever, while others are meant to simply teach you something and then get off at a rest stop and be remembered for the charming story they shared or that bad smell they left on the seat.

Some people just aren't meant to ride along down the road of life. But others will transfer with you depsite the bumps and stick around to enjoy the scenery. Pretty profound for a (constantly drunk) 20 year old, eh? Then again, at 20, what didn't I have to be optimistic about?

Possibly the best part about my bus theory was that it was easy to illustrate. Throughout my junior and senior years of college, I took great pleasure in drawing my life in different phases of boys and buses. And now, I am pleased (and not at all embarrassed) to share my hopes and dreams, as seen through three stages of my bus theory, with y'all:

Stage 1: Optimism

(Text: See? I'm only 20 years old - I don't even have half my bus filled in yet.)

Stage 2: Moving On

(Text: He was never really on the bus, anyway.)

Stage 3: Bitter Acceptance with sides of Jealous Rage and Slightly Crazy

(Above text reads: I'm making my bus theory a train theory for tonight. Inset pic is me, in circle, making the OK sign in my conductor hat, saying, I'm not bitter. Text on the right reads: Is this a problem, do you think? Can I still write from solitary? Stay tuned! Love, Lori.) FYI...This was a different guy from the guy in the pics above. This guy told me that he was Tom Cruise to both my Kelly McGillis and Renee Zellweger, and then he went and lavaliered my sorority sister the next semester! The bus theory was officially laid to rest at that point when I came to the conclusion that life and boys couldn't be summed up by a simple mode of transportation.

In Hilary's words, I gave up. I totally gave up.