I need either a boyfriend or an agent

When I'm not dreaming about gym boyfriends that I don't really know, I'm crushing on reality show stars that I don't know at all.

I realize that I may be one of a dying (okay, left-for-dead) breed of Apprentice fans, but, well, I am. As a marketing professional, I am riveted by the nonsense that passes for tasks on the show; as a narcissist, I can't help but partly wish that was me up on the screen. The fact that it was filmed in LA this season doesn't hurt my interest either.

In the years since the show started, I have had numerous contestant/"star" sightings, and have even met and hung out with season one's Bill and season two's Andy. (Bill is now engaged or married to E!'s Juliana DePandi, which I am slightly bummed about because he really did seem so normal and down to earth and unaffected by the Hollywood thing.)

The breakout star of this season though, and the current object of my misguided affection is the most recently-fired Tim. Adorable and funny and seemingly very grounded, I was tickled to learn that he grew up in a town very close and similar to my own. He also kind of reminds me of an ex-boyfriend, so I got a certain thrill every Sunday night when I tuned in, as if we should be old friends or something. (Have you not realized by now that I have a very active imagination?)

Anyway, I was delighted to find Tim's personal blog this week, and wasted no less than a good hour of my Wednesday workday reading it. His writing is witty and wry, and he comes off exactly as I envisioned: adorable and funny and seemingly quite grounded. (And yes, it seems he is still with Nicole.) I'm somewhat happy he was fired only because now, he'll have more time to write.

Back during the first season of The Apprentice, I had a huge crush on redhead Jersey-boy-turned-LA-copier-salesman, Nick. I went so far as to pitch a segment to the Today Show (this was back when they interviewed the cast-offs every Friday morning and were also doing some sort of Match-Game-meets-The Bachelor type series) in which they set up the losers with regular people. I think I titled it something "Fired but not Forgotten," and it was a legitimate, well-thought-out pitch that would have served only as a proper introduction for me. Surprisingly, they never went for it.

Maybe they gave me a background check.